


She's Not Good Enough For You

by milkywillies



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher
Genre: Arguing, Bisexual Alex Standall, Boys Kissing, Cheating, Language, M/M, alex is just chill, bisexual Zach Dempsey, cursing, jessica is clingy af, zach is jealous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 00:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15036626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkywillies/pseuds/milkywillies
Summary: Zach catches Jessica cheating on Alex with Justin. While he struggles to keep it a secret, he can't help but think that Alex deserves so much better than that - and that somehow, he could give it to him.





	She's Not Good Enough For You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This was a prompt requested on tumblr (follow me @billbenbev and feel free to request more!). I hope I didn't make any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language! Anyway, enjoy this piece of Zalex work, this ship and fandom needs more stories!

The trial was over. It had been a few months since everything had gotten back to normal.

Well, not exactly normal.

For instance, Justin was living with Clay. He was now _Justin Jensen_ or _Justin Foley Jensen_ or whatever crap name that symbolized his official arrival as a new member of the family. To say that those two were the most obnoxious and funny brothers of all time was an understatement. Justin kept trying to make Clay get laid, while Clay helped him with his studies. They were constantly bickering and fighting and Clay usually stole Justin’s clothes just to piss him off.

Courtney had come out on the trial interview, and now, despite all the weird looks and what anyone thought, she was actually happy and dating a girl named Tamika. They were cute together and Courtney actually revealed to be really nice, despite the bad impressions she caused on everyone before.

Bryce, to everybody’s relief, got transferred to a privet school. His absence was painfully noticed by all the students, but nobody really missed him – just his dumb jock friends. Zach and Justin were not included in this group.

Ryan and Tony were always around, bickering as two polar opposites and, of course, as exes. Though their presence was actually pretty interesting, since they always had the most unique types of comebacks and comments they had ever witnessed in a conversation.

Jessica was coming to terms with her situation as a rape survivor, which had been improving with Nina’s help – and their weird group of friends, who Hannah (in a terrible, terrible way) had managed to unite.

Which included, of course, Zach Dempsey and Alex Standall.

The two had become extremely close after all those physical therapy sessions. Alex was getting stronger every day, and though he probably would have a problem with his leg for the rest of his life, if he continued to exercise, it would come the day in which he wouldn’t even need a cane anymore.

Zach looked forward to that day, so he could hug Alex a little stronger, not worrying about his body response, and maybe even walk at his pace without having to slow down so much. The simple fact that Alex chose to cut his hair and show his scar to the world was an immense development in his state of mind. It showed that he acknowledged what he did, and he wasn’t ashamed.

Because he was alive.

And Zach was so fucking thankful for that.

They were like skin and nail – you could never spot one of them without the other. Since Zach had dropped out of the baseball team, he shouldn’t have to pretend any longer. He was finally who he was, and wanted to be: a nice, normal guy who liked to hang out with his non-ambulatory friends, drink coffee, play videogames and study biology.

They were like skin and nail. Until, of course, something came in between.

Someone, actually. A girl. Jessica Davis.

Zach didn’t have anything against Jessica. On the contrary, he found her pretty cool, since she was friends with the jocks back in the days when Hannah was still alive and Justin was around. Nothing had really changed, except the fact that, after the dance, she seemed to be around Alex _all the time._

Whenever he wanted to come over to Alex’s and play videogames and talk about dumb shit, he couldn’t – because Jessica was there instead. And he didn’t really wanna know what they were doing.

Whenever he wanted to hang out at Monet’s or grab something to eat after PT, he couldn’t – because Alex had to meet with Jessica instead.

And whenever he wanted to just vent about life or complain about something that happened, he couldn’t – because Jessica was crying on Alex’s shoulders instead.

Zach tried to convince himself that he didn’t mind. He would like a time for himself and his girlfriend, if he ever had one. But he couldn’t help the burning jealousy that rose in his heart whenever he saw Alex’s smile – _that_ little smile – on _Jessica’s_ direction. He couldn’t help the pain and the sick feeling in his gut whenever he saw them kissing.

He couldn’t help it, no matter how much he tried to. He couldn’t help it, because somehow, in a matter of months, Alex Standall had managed to become a part of him. And if someone else took him away from Zach, he would be torn apart.

And that seemed to be exactly what Jessica Davis was doing – painfully slowly.

Until he saw something that changed _everything._

* * *

He wasn’t really sure, at first. Maybe it was another girl, and there were lots of guys wearing that same kind of jacket.

He moved a little closer, trying his hardest to hide his massive body behind some tree or trash can. Not that they would notice anyway, being so entranced in each other’s mouth.

Justin and Jessica. Yet again.

It wasn’t so surprising, really. Justin loved Jessica like she was the only girl for him, like he had never loved anybody else. Jessica, on the other hand, was dating Alex, and Zach wasn’t sure if they had said ‘I love you’ yet, but if they did, it was clearly a lie on her side.

Then he felt it, deep inside. Running through his veins, his heart, his breath hitching the highest peak and his stomach curling into its acid walls.

Anger.

He was so _angry._

How dare they? How dare they do this to Alex? Someone who had been through so much already, and was _clearly_ emotionally unstable?

He could only imagine the tears in Alex’s eyes and the redness in his face as he screamed, screamed to them and everybody else who wanted to hear. He could see his petite body surrendering to the power of his emotions and succumbing to the cold hard ground. And when Jessica, crying so hard she could barely see, would try to help him, he would scream again, and snap her hand away, saying that he couldn’t believe he loved someone so much just to be betrayed like this.

And who knows what he would do next.

Zach shuddered to the thought.

That’s when he decided not to tell him. Back at his home, Zach wondered if maybe it was a bad decision, and it surely would keep him up at night. Hell, his conscience wouldn’t let it go. The image of Justin roaming his hands through Jessica’s lower body and the moans that escaped her mouth, her nails digging through Justin’s newly cut hair… That would never leave his mind, always reappearing at just the sound of their voices.

And Alex.

Oh Alex…

He wasn’t sure if he could handle it. Would it be better if he told him, or if Jessica and Justin did, whenever they had the courage? Wouldn’t it be better to tell him now, before he walked him on them making out or having sex? Wouldn’t it be best to just tell the truth instead of lying, just like he so much wanted to do and never really had the chance over so many years?

Zach forced his eyes shut and put a pillow to his ears, as if the voices were external to his own head. And tried, failing miserably, to go to sleep.

* * *

Zach woke up to a surprising invite. Alex had texted him and asked him to come over to his place after school to play videogames. Though Zach didn’t like racing games very much, and Alex was probably fed up with them too, it was still a – rare – opportunity to stay time alone with him. Or any time with him at all.

So after being blocked by his best friend’s girlfriend the whole day, Zach finally managed to get to Alex and help him into his car. The smaller boy seemed excited, and Zach enjoyed seeing him smile, since it was so uncommon.

“Hey man, we haven’t been hanging out much!” he exclaimed, smirking at the taller boy in the driver’s seat.

“Yeah…” that’s all Zach’s managed to respond, suppressing the urge to snap at him. Alex wasn’t dumb, he knew exactly why they haven’t been hanging out much. But he decided against any type of provocation, since Alex was rather explosive.

“Glad to see your excitement.” he murmured sarcastically. Zach sighed and smiled apologetically.

“Sorry man, it’s just… Problems with grades… and all... Now that I dropped out from the team, I have to pay doubled attention to my grades. And it’s kinda hard.”

Alex seemed to be searching for answers inside his own mind.

“You could have asked for help! I’m good at all the subjects that you suck at!” he sounded almost indignant, and Zach could have stopped the car right there and start yelling at that pretty face of his. Instead, he just shot him a look that said everything.

“Well, I haven’t even had the time to vent to you, let alone ask for help at any damn subject.”

“Jesus, Zach, you’re moody today. I hope those racing games will help you relax.” Alex murmured. The jock couldn’t help but notice the sadness in his voice, and he wondered if he had that kind of impact on the smaller boy. He decided to push those thoughts away, for they were close to Alex’s place.

* * *

“You know what?” Alex mumbled after they had seated and started the game. “I think you should go back to the team”

“What?” Zach asked, frowning, while trying to beat Alex’s car, which was already in the first place.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not that you’re dumb or anything, but since you can’t put your grades in a high pattern all the time, maybe you should go back to something that you like to do, is good at, and probably will give you easier access to a scholarship” he said, not taking his eyes out of the game. Zach, on the other hand, kept turning his face from the screen to his friend, not quite believing in what he was hearing.

“But there’s _Monty_ in there, and his gang… They’re all assholes”

“Scott is not. Jeff wasn’t. I don’t think that being on the team makes you an asshole or a rapist. You’ve proven that to me” Alex smiled a little, for just about a second. Zach noticed though, and he could feel his face getting hotter.

“Wow… Hum… Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks”

“Don’t thank me. I’ve only come to realize that after talking to Jessica” he replied, still pretty much focused on the game. He smiled like a little devil as he won the game, and Zach suppressed that burning jealousy yet again.

“Oh, Jessica, right. How are things, by the way?” he asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. He saw Alex scrunch his nose a little, but didn’t give that too much attention.

“Things are… good” he mumbled, choosing another car for other race. Zach raised his eyebrows, scoffing.

“Good? That’s all you have to tell me?” he laughed, finding it genuinely funny now. “How’s the talking? The making out sessions? How’s the _sex?_ ” he brushed his elbow on the side of Alex’s belly playfully, but the other didn’t seem to find it very funny.

“Ow, Zach! Why are you so interested?” Alex raised an eyebrow, finding the jock’s behavior kinda odd. Zach seemed to be completely off that day, or maybe that was because he barely spent any time alone with him anymore?

“I don’t know man, I just thought that, since you guys spend all the time together now, your relationship must have improved” Zach suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. That burning feeling again.

“What? Are you jealous?”

_Yes, I am._

“No…” he pouted. “I’m just curious, is that so bad?”

Alex considered for a moment, and his expression softened.

“Everything’s fine… Jess is…wonderful” he sighed, and if Zach didn’t know Alex, he probably would have thought that he didn’t mean what he was saying. “We have a lot in common, she’s sweet and beautiful and strong… But we haven’t really had sex yet. It’s kinda hard actually, with my body being… _this way.”_

_I wouldn’t have a problem with that._ Zach thought, randomly. He asked himself when did his thoughts about Alex had changed to a sexual meaning.

“And something just seems… off” Alex frowned, appearing to be getting more into his own thoughts. Zach listened to it carefully, feeling like suddenly the topic of the conversation was changing.

“Off? What do you mean?”

“Like… Like she’s not telling me something” Alex made a scrunching face, like he was asking if that made any sense at all. To Zach’s agonizing conscience, that made more sense than Einstein’s theories. “Like we’re best friends, just like before everything, but at the same time, it’s not the same”

“Like… Like we’re just pretending to be happy”

Maybe it was the sadness in Alex’s blue eyes. Maybe it was the way his reddish lips were curved in an emotionless, dead smile. Maybe it was the way they were looking at each other, or the slow sunset behind the trees on his window, but Zach couldn’t fight the urge anymore.

That’s when he said it.

“She’s not good enough for you”

“What?”

_Shit, shit, shit!_

“I-I mean…” he scratched the back of his head, and tried to ignore Alex’s huge blue eyes staring at him in confusion and mortified surprise. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Jessica, she’s a great girl and a great friend. But after everything she’s been through, I don’t think she’s ready for a serious relationship yet” he tried to point that out in the nicest way he could, but nothing seemed to work on Alex’s shocked face.

“And who are you to tell??”

“Okay, listen… This is not my business to say, maybe you should talk to her…”

“No, now I’m curious. Do you have anything against her? Is there anything you’re not telling me?”

“What? No! Listen, I didn’t mean…”

“Zach, stop with this bullshit, I wanna know the truth”

“There’s no truth, what the hell are you talking about…”

“Zach!”

“Okay, you know what?” Zach got up, feeling the anger boil up on his veins. “’I know what she’s not been telling you”

Alex was a mixture of pissed and scared.

“Then tell me, asshole”

“Jessica’s cheating on you with Justin.”

The room fell in a deep, horrible silence. Zach assumed the worst: Alex didn’t know, and he would freak out and tell Zach to leave. He would break up with Jessica on bad terms, never talk to Justin again and block Zach out of his life.

But he certainly wasn’t expecting _this._

“I know.”

“You _know?_ What the fuck, dude? And you’re still dating her?”

“I-I don’t know, don’t judge me, okay? I just felt like… dating her… it would make me feel more normal.” Alex looked like a tiny kid who had pooped on his shorts. Zach mentally screamed at himself for finding his embarrassed blush the cutest thing on earth.

“You _are_ normal. You just have a problem with your body. Jesus, stop doing this to yourself.”

“Truth is, I _don’t_ feel normal, Zach” he snapped. “And Jess? Jess is… familiar. She reminds me of easier times, when Hannah wasn’t dead and my body functioned well…”

“Well, that’s good to know. Maybe you, Jess and Justin could have a threesome! Wouldn’t that be fun?” he put his hands around his hips, smiling sarcastically.

“Why are you so pissed? It’s not like anybody is cheating on _you.”_

“Well I feel cheated. She’s clearly not good enough for you, and you keep lowering yourself to someone who’s lying to your face constantly because you can’t accept your situation. You can’t look in the mirror and face what you did to yourself and move on. You can’t love yourself and respect your own limits and all you can do is sit around and complain about everything while your girlfriend is dicking down some other dude!”

“Fuck you, Zach!” now they were both angry, red and potentially harmful to each other.

“No, fuck _you_ Alex! I’m _always_ here for you. If you let me, I could spend the rest of my life by your side. If you want me to carry you around the school, I will. If you want me to buy snickers and ice cream and Doritos while your mom isn’t home, I will. If you want me to massage your shoulders or give you piggyback rides, I will. Fuck, if I have to die for you, I will. Now you seem really ungrateful to choose to spend time with Jessica than with someone who’s _actually_ a true friend.”

Alex was speechless.

“I… Zach… What are you saying?”

_I’m saying I love you, you jackass._

_You cute, adorable, little crippled jackass._

“Zach… What do you mean by ‘spending the rest of your life by my side’ and ‘dying for me’?”

The jock’s face got even redder, if that was humanly possible.

“Doesn’t matter what I mean… Actually, it doesn’t matter what I said at all. You’re in love with Jessica anyways.”

“I’m… I’m not in love with Jessica.”

The room fell silent, again, for a minute or so.

“What? She’s cheating on you with Justin, you know that, and you _still_ want to be with her? That looks like the dumbest kind of love ever.”

“I just…” Alex blushed furiously. “I was just scared.”

“Scared of _what,_ Alex?”

“Scared of confessing to the one I really love, who I was pretty sure didn’t think about me _this_ way.”

Their eyes met. Blue on brown. A slight blush appeared on Zach’s cheeks, to complement all the other shades. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment, he wasn’t really sure.

“Until now…”

Zach raised one eyebrow.

“And who is this other girl?”

Alex scoffed. 

“Jesus, are all jocks this dumb?” he scoffed, trying to stand by himself. He rejected Zach’s hand and faced him courageously, like a small knight facing his enemy.

“I meant you, you damn asshole.”

None of them was really sure who leaned in first. The next thing they knew, their lips were connected and their hands were either on each other’s hair, back or shoulders, touching anywhere they could find. Alex acknowledged that it was nothing like kissing Jessica, or Hannah, or anybody else he has kissed in his life. It was like jumping into cold water and being embraced by the warmest towel. It was like being burned with ice, dying and being reborn all over again. Like day and night, salt and sugar. He wanted to be there forever, in Zach’s arms, not caring about a single thing.

And they both acknowledged that it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if Jessica was cheating with Justin, if Zach was out of the team, if Alex body didn’t function very well. It didn’t matter that Tyler almost shot down everyone and Monty was still an asshole. Because no matter what happened, Zach and Alex would go through it together.

And that’s all they needed.

 


End file.
